Happiness

D and I have been getting fairly serious, talking about the possibility of someday having children and perhaps even getting married.  Neither of us has ever been too into the idea of marriage before, but it's starting to sound like it's not the worst idea.  We're a bit young, neither of us has been married before, we're probably both a bit naive on the subject, as this article suggests.

When I was a young girl, I never imagined my dream wedding to some prince or knight kinda guy.  I just imagined that one day I would be older (think 30-40) and I'd be happy.  I'd be independent and have my life all figured out, with a normal job that I enjoy going to everyday simply because I'm rewarded with a paycheck.  Maybe my dreams were lower than most, less ambitious than some.  Basically, I just wanted to someday feel as though I have a normal, stable life that keeps me happy mostly for its simplicity.  I just dreamed of happiness.

The problem I face now, is figuring out how to achieve that happiness.  I'm in my early twenties and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. I spent a year and a half in college only to quit going partly because I didn't really have the funds (and I wasn't comfortable getting myself a student loan) and partly because I had no idea what the hell I was even going to classes for everyday.  My major was anthropology, and although it's definitely a passion of mine, it just doesn't seem lucrative.  I believe my dream of happiness I've had since I was a kid relies on me having a job in an industry that supplies plenty of stability.  (Too bad healthcare scares the hell out of me, it's probably the most stable industry around.)

Sometimes it makes me feel lost, but perhaps I'm just placing too much pressure on myself.  I am sick, though, of working retail sales jobs that seem so dead-end.  With the paychecks I earn from this, I feel like I'm not able to put away enough money to ever even work on my dreams... and so they seem further off than ever.

Nerdisms

D and I didn't do a damn thing for New Years.  Happy 2009 though.  I was hoping to go out and explore Buffalo or spend some time meeting his old friends (since D is from the area), but we stayed in!  Oh well.

D has been talking to me  quite a lot about New Years Resolutions and he's given me five or six different things to work on this year.  Ha!  Actually, he does make several good points on what he's sort of asking me to do.  Now, getting to that:
1. Write more.  (Guess that's why I'm blogging again, at least for today.) I somewhat have an interest in writing, whether professionally or just for my personal benefit.  In person I'm rather quirky and fun, but I keep trying to make myself write in a more serious tone (which is what this nonsense seems to be also) and I don't know that it works out.  So, I guess I should write (offline in a journal?) and find my own writing voice.  No use pushing myself to fit into some serious mold, yeah?
2. Stick to that Gluten-free diet I'm supposed to be on.  Celiac disease is uncomfortable and can lead to even worse health conditions if gluten continues to be ingested.  Kinda blows to give up bread and such, but I guess I can deal.  Except earlier at the mall when D ordered an awesome sandwich at Subway and I had to eat a damn salad.. Not cool.
3. Take my vitamin everyday.  If I miss a few days, one of my eyelids starts twitching randomly and constantly, and I feel like an idiot if I'm talking to someone and it happens.
...I actually forget the rest of them for now.  I'm sure D will remind me! :)

I've been playing way too much Neopets lately.  My account is nearly eight years old, so I have all sorts of NP and sweet items and whatever else that I don't want to go to waste by quitting the game.

Also.. our roommate owns Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility.  I'm playing the hell out of that game the past few days!  I had A Wonderful Life for Gamecube, but this one's way better.  Back to that in a few minutes, probably...

Ah, well.

I am such an awful blogger.  I definitely have a habit of starting a new blog with every intention of actually keeping up with it (for once) and then life gets in the way, or I temporarily run out of interest in it or the inspiration to write anything at all.. or well, any other number of reasons probably.

Anyway, moving on.  I've moved!  Just three days ago, I moved to my new home with my boyfriend and a roommate (one of my boyfriend's friends) and we're still getting adjusted.  My boyfriend, D is what I'll call him, and I went out looking for jobs today in our new city.  We're up in Niagara Falls.  I come from Dallas, so it's a big change in environment (especially with the snow!).

D and I drove up to Rochester from Dallas, which took two days to complete since we stayed at a hotel for a night.  I actually started freaking out a bit when I saw just how much snow was on the ground while we were on the road.  It barely snows where I come from, and I've only ever traveled to northern US states during the summer so I've never seen so much of the damn stuff.  It's a bit overwhelming, and I suppose while I was crying over it, that kinda meant that I was realizing just how much of a change I was going to have to deal with once arriving in New York.

Ah, well.  I'll get used to it.  It's going to take some time.  Before D and I came to Niagara Falls, we spent a week at his parents' home for the holidays.  In the week and a half I've been up in New York, I've driven my car twice - and neither of those times were when the ground was covered in snow.  D does most of the driving, and he's supposed to teach me at some point how to survive snow driving, but it hasn't happened yet.